If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, there are a few things you should know about being a dating-bible-type book. For starters, you should know what is good, and what is not good, about your dating profile. Read on for that and more about finding a partner.
Modern Dating: How to Get a Modern Relationship and Other Tips
This article assumes you already have a good understanding of the basics of dating, and you know how to navigate dating sites and apps like Tinder, Match, OkCupid, OkCupid, etc. We want to help you make sure you’re not only putting yourself forward as someone who will attract your “dream guy” but that you’re doing it in a way that will move you closer to your dream relationship.
1. Know your Values
One of the first things to think about when you start researching dating sites and apps is your values. What do you value in a relationship?
To get started, go ahead and outline three to five values. Values can be as simple as honesty, dedication to work/school/family, independence, etc. Also, values can change, depending on your life at any given time. You can easily revise your values at any time. For instance, say you have always valued loyalty to your family, but in your current situation, it doesn’t really seem like it’s very important to you. You can revise your values to prioritize career over family, or even revising your values at all.
However, going into dating with specific values in mind is a good way to know what your intentions are in the relationship. For instance, if you want a serious relationship, it might be time to revise your values.
2. Know What You’re Looking for
So if you’re looking for a serious relationship, you’re going to have to know what you want. You can’t just search for a guy and assume you’ll find someone who meets your needs. It also doesn’t help when you’re making a dating profile that makes you look more interested in wine than in someone who’s right next to you.
If you’re looking for a serious relationship, you need to think about where you see yourself in five or 10 years. Where do you see yourself? If you see yourself in a serious relationship with someone who is your best friend and your life partner, then that’s what you’re going to be thinking about.
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We’ve all been on that first date before. You go out for dinner, the night maybe gets a little fuzzy, and by the time you get back home, your head is spinning. “Do I call? Do I text? Where should I call or text?”
It’s tough to know what to do in this situation. “If you have a major or minor blow-out with your date, it’s wise to avoid calling or texting him or her too early in the evening,” Dr. David Franz, a relationship therapist and author of the new book Sex, Love, and the Start of a Relationship, says.
Franz also says, “Do not call or text a friend of the opposite sex who knows about your relationship. That’s an extremely bad move and is clearly a premature disclosure of your relationship.”
So, assuming you find yourself in this situation, here are some steps to take (listed in order of importance):
1. Call your friend
It’s your best move. “Call your friend who knows about your relationship and share the fact that you just had a date with someone who you think is interesting. All you’ll say is, ‘I have this funny date with this guy. What should I do?'” Franz says. “Your friend might suggest a dinner date at the most exotic restaurant or give you a friendly suggestion. At this point, you have no obligation to pursue the date. If you decide to do so, after the dinner, you might text your friend that you’re interested in seeing where the relationship goes. You have no obligation to see where the relationship goes.”
2. Start texting with your friend
As soon as you feel like you want to pursue the date, after dinner, start texting your friend, who may give you additional insight as to how to proceed. For example, a guy may have been texting you nonstop and maybe even asking to meet you, and your friend might give you some pointers on where the communication is coming from. Or, you might have been talking about the movie you’re thinking of seeing and your friend might suggest that you go to a different movie. Just remember to be very careful about what you say to your friend over text, especially if you want to talk about your relationship.
3. Don’t text or call your friend
Once you’ve been on a date and had a chance to sleep on it, you might feel more comfortable texting your friend. If that’s the case, take it slow
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